Written on Her Belly

In my sub-culture, I've heard a lot of pro-life arguments. Arguments for proving it's a baby inside that girl's womb, arguments for keeping and loving the baby instead of killing it for convenience.

But after the girl chooses life, chooses to keep the baby or bless someone through adoption, we think our job is done. The battle's over. Yes, the battle for life is over, but our job isn't done.

If I worked at a pregnancy center and had girls come in and choose to keep their baby, maybe then I'd check up with them and help them along. That would be a wonderful job.

But how often do we do that, as citizens of our "elite" sub-culture of Christian worldviews and pro-life arguments? We fight for unborn babies, but often that's where it stops. We forget about loving the mother.

She is a big sinner, after all.

My eyes were opened today when I read an article by Amy Ford entitled, "How pro-life are you?" She tells about how we have a choice to either help, honor and celebrate with these new unwed mothers, or degrade them with comments, looks, or attitudes.

When we, as married Christian women, get pregnant, we rejoice and see it as a blessing. We acknowledge that children are a gift, a heritage from the Lord. We can quote all the verses!

So WHY, when we encounter an unwed pregnant girl, do we shun her? We call her a sinner and look down upon her. We think of her pregnancy as a curse, a consequence because it is proof of her sin.

That's not what it is at all! Every new life is ordained by God. He is the author of life. God chooses to bless some sinners with a gift, a baby. And sometimes that baby changes their life. God can use a baby, and God can use YOU to love on a girl who needs to find grace.

I confess, I have inwardly looked down on unwed mothers, even if I haven't said anything against them. But what am I doing? I'm looking down on another sinner, even though I myself sin every day. Shunning them because of their sin is being arrogant and self-righteous, which is also sin. Everyone sins, even if their sin isn't as "noticeable" as the beautiful belly of a pregnant mother. If I had all of my sins written on my belly, would you still love me, still talk to me? Hate the sin; love the sinner.

In the article she tells about her ministry helping these mothers. One thing she does is throw them baby showers to celebrate the new life inside of them! Some people have told her that helping these girls is wrong, and she is rewarding their sin. No! She is showing them grace! She's helping them along in their journey of motherhood. If anything, she is rewarding their choice to keep their babies! It's our job as pro-lifers to help them become excited about this life inside of them, and not just when they're making the decision to have an abortion or not.

Someone commented on the article, "For a sinner to feel it is their job to punish another sinner for becoming pregnant by not helping that woman is arrogant." Amen!

Now there is a time and a place to teach and rebuke. For example, if you were the girl's parent or mentor, it would be a good thing to help her realize her sin was wrong and to encourage her to "sin no more." But it is not helpful for a stranger or acquaintance to make a condemning remark that tells her all she is is a fornicator and that she will always wear that Scarlet Letter. That's not what a sensitive, worried, pregnant girl needs. She needs to experience God's grace! We want her to know there is forgiveness, and she can start again. She already has, if she has chosen life. Let's help her along!

Don't shower her with shame, shower her with hope! Live as a light, an encouragement to her, a picture of God's mercy and grace. Show her that her life isn't over, and that her life has a purpose. She is experiencing new life physically, and hopefully spiritually as well.

If you are already doing this, good for you! I aspire to be like you. If you are like me and have said (or even thought, without realizing it) negative things about an unwed mother, I wrote this post for you. Go read Amy Ford's as well. I hope this opened your eyes like it did mine. I found I needed to change my attitude to one of excitement for young new mothers. I need to be open to love, encourage, and help these sinners who are just like me.

So to sum up, it's not just the babies that need our help, it's the mothers too. Pregnancy is not a curse, it's a blessing. Pregnancy is not a sin, premarital sex is. Go ahead and hate sin, but don't hate the sinner. Young mothers crave love, help, and encouragement, as do you! :)